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Time to take her gun away?

This is a discussion on Time to take her gun away? within the Guns forums, part of the Gun Forum category; Originally Posted by dwg13013 Why did the alarm go off, and was she frightened, or on alert because of it ? I would suggest invite ...


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Old 09-04-2020, 04:45 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dwg13013 View Post
Why did the alarm go off, and was she frightened, or on alert because of it ?

I would suggest invite her out to shoot, and check her abilities.
She could prove still capable, or it could be a natural way to discuss time to retire the gun.
Yes...good points.

The alarm has gone of many times in the 20 years or so she's had it. Every time it has been a false alarm. More often than not, it's because she has set it off herself. A couple of times it's been a failed sensor. She (however) is very concerned about "prowlers" and is convinced (incorrectly) that people have been in her house many times...she just hasn't been able to catch them yet.

She has never shot the firearm. Not during one of her "prowler hunts", not at the range. I suggested that she should get it out, let me unload it, and work through some dry fire exercises. I'm not sure she has the hand strength to pull the trigger...but I'm not sure. I think she knows if I get my hands on the gun, she may not get it back...so she hasn't complied with that request.
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Old 09-04-2020, 04:58 AM   #17
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The better question sounds to me like Mom might need to come live with you
Having Mom all alone sounds like a very sad existence and the gun might be trying to give her security she misses now that she is all by herself
Just my 2 cents
Stay safe out there
God Bless,John
But saying they just need to take it
That is not right either
Mom cared for us and it is our time to do the same ...
As a child of adoption
I know how much having real parents who love and care for you regardless of blood
Time for us now to have those uncomfortable conversations
but Mom will love that u do ...

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My older brother has made this offer and Mom turned him down flat. Then she made him promise never to put her in a nursing home. Which he did.
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Old 09-04-2020, 06:46 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by HoosierBuddy View Post
Yes...good points.

She has never shot the firearm. Not during one of her "prowler hunts", not at the range. I suggested that she should get it out, let me unload it, and work through some dry fire exercises. I'm not sure she has the hand strength to pull the trigger...but I'm not sure. I think she knows if I get my hands on the gun, she may not get it back...so she hasn't complied with that request.
This proves our point it is your responsibility to her and everyone else, this is not much different than being the parent to the young. Yes she's an adult but what is her physical and mental faculties at this point in her life? You know the answer because you started this thread. I dread the day this situation may come in my life, but I know (now) it will be for my good as well as those I love. As stated before this is like taking away their vehicle and the right to drive, same principle.
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Old 09-04-2020, 11:34 AM   #19
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OK guys...so this situation has been temporarily addressed with a "make safe" solution that was not satisfactory to either party but does end the possibility of her shooting someone.

I'll leave it at that.

On the medical front, I am to go with her to her next neurologist visit and we will find out more.

At some point someone may have to step in and make choices for her, but I'm not sure legally what that entails....and honestly....as one of my older brothers is an attorney, it seems like maybe he might be better able to handle that type of question.
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Old 09-04-2020, 01:01 PM   #20
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When my dad passed I loaned my mother a revolver and didn't worry as she grew up on a farm and knew how to handle a firearm. I would go there to visit and periodically would give it a wipe down and put fresh ammo in, etc. One day I noticed one of the rounds was fired so asked her what happened. She said she had a squirrel at the bird feeder. I asked her if she hit him and she said she missed. Everything was fine and then a few years later she got macular and eventually was legally blind. She still lived by herself but I decided that I needed to take the revolver back and I did. It was a rather unpleasant confrontation but had to be done if for no other reason than my own legal well being.
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Old 09-04-2020, 01:47 PM   #21
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Time to take her gun away?

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Originally Posted by HoosierBuddy View Post
OK guys...so this situation has been temporarily addressed with a "make safe" solution that was not satisfactory to either party but does end the possibility of her shooting someone.

I'll leave it at that.

On the medical front, I am to go with her to her next neurologist visit and we will find out more.

At some point someone may have to step in and make choices for her, but I'm not sure legally what that entails....and honestly....as one of my older brothers is an attorney, it seems like maybe he might be better able to handle that type of question.

My dad had dementia. We got a living will which included power of attorney for my sister and I to control finances/real estate and make decisions. We did this prior to my fatherís diagnosis because when my mom was terminal there was some question about what she wanted. Better to do it sooner than later.


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Last edited by M3Fan; 09-04-2020 at 03:41 PM.
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Old 09-05-2020, 10:54 PM   #22
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I had to take the car keys away from my dad at 85. Same thing, sooner or later something bad was going to happen. I couldn't bear the moral and financial responsibility if he hurt someone (or himself) . He did not take it well at first but understood later and forgave me. It wasn't fun, I feel for ya.
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Old 09-06-2020, 09:10 AM   #23
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Putting Mom into a home or taking away her car or in your case her gun are all very difficult. In my case we waited (foolishly) for an "event". As it turned out the
event was minor (fell while in the basement & couldn't get up). This made it very easy for us, her cowardly children to do what we needed to do some time before.
You will have no way to excuse leaving the gun in mom's possession, try explaining why you left a deadly weapon in the hands of someone of diminished mental capacity. Should she shoot someone, the horrors of the tragedy effect many including yourself. Get it away from her as soon as you can. Trust the Dr and Police (who already have documented their opinions).
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Old 09-06-2020, 09:54 AM   #24
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I seem to of been a bit more lucky than some...since both my parents are gone and thankful to not be facing those issues. On the other hand I have watched my father in law age and one day on his own, he said from now on I will just ride. So is some cases people recognize their own limitations .
I have a family member who's 94 yr old father refuses to stop driving and his son won't intervene . I told him I felt it was his responsibility too put a stop to it before someone was killed. I have a feeling liability might one day soon come back and haunt him and his pocket book.
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